I'M DONE MOM!!!

Blerg!  Kind of funny.  I sat down to write and immediately my train of thought was interrupted by the yells of my 3 year old, "I'M DONE MOM!!!"  I  can't count how many times I have heard these ver words in the last nine years.  After my last baby was born, I actually started a mental countdown in my mind as to first, when I would be done changing diapers, and second when I would be done wiping bums.  I actually had an end in sight even if it was 4 years down the road.  I also started a countdown as to when my kids would all be done with kindergarten and preschool.   To a tie when I would have entire days in a row where I wouldn't be rushing to accomplish things in the morning while I had one less tag-a-long for two and a half hours before I had to pick them up from school and start round two of meals and clean up for the day.  Quite comical really how as a mom these are the things we look forward to.  An entire school day without interruption to the daily tasks or hey maybe even desires we have.

However, there are those few moms out there, my mom was one and my sister-in-law another, that homeschool their children.  To those women I tip my hat.  That is truly amazing in my mind.  I was not gifted the patience to teach my children everything.  I struggle with the things I do teach them, like tying shoes, zipping jackets, making a pb&j.  I do however love watching them try to figure things out. My #2 son is my thinker, my puzzler, my architect, or my engineer in the making if you will.  I loved watching him as a baby and a toddler.  He could entertain himself for hours just trying to figure out how things worked.  I remember watching him slide a toy through a slot in the legs of a stack of chairs and try to watch it as it clanked its way down to the floor.  Then, he would pick it up and do it again and again until he was satisfied with how it got from point A to point B.  He could dress himself, and demanded it before the age of two, which was baffling to me as my first would have had me dress him until he was 7 if I had let him.

Another thing I have noticed about my children is that my two brunettes #1 and #3 are very much alike in temperament, learning styles, likes and dislikes, even their teeth are both perfect with no cavities.  Also, my blondes #2 and #4, they are both more independent and like to learn new things, and do things on their own, they both play best alone where as the brownies have always needed someone to be with them, and yes the blondies teeth are both horrible and have been since a very young age despite that fact that I brush them both the same as the other two.  Now my #5 will be interesting because he started out dark and is slowly turning to a sandy blonde, but now a true toe head like my other blondes. So, he is my inbetweener.  Perhaps he will offer some balance in our home as well as be a balanced child.  So, far that is true.  He is easy going.  He can entertain himself, but also loves to follow his big brothers around. He likes to figure things out, but is ok with you showing him how as well, without throwing a giant fit.  He will eat almost anything, but is a little skeptical with the first bite.

I love watching these little people grow and develop, you can truly tell that they are their own person from the minute they are born, even before in the womb for that matter.  They have their own spirit and were a spiritual being with characteristics and traits long before they came to this earth.  It is truly amazing the gift a child can be in your life.  It is also magnanimously overwhelming to think that we as parents, who are already so flawed from this life, are responsible for helping them become who they are to be.  It is a wonder any of us turn out ok.  I am obviously not a perfect parent, but I hope to come close one day.  I have such great hopes of improving a little each day, and some days, most days lately, I have giant failures.  But, maybe, just maybe these cute little people I have been blessed with will teach me how to be a good mom yet.

Even if my diaper changing, bum wiping, kindergarten interrupting count down has to start back over, I know that someday I will truly miss these days.  These days of innocence.  Where I get to see the wonder in their eyes, I get to kiss their owies and tears away, I get to snuggle with them and tickle them, I get to dance in the living room and sing silly songs, I get to push them on swings and tow them behind my bike, I get to watch them learn new things and grow into themselves.  I know someday I will regret all the frustration and tears of exhaustion, the impatience and sadly the yells.  Although I look forward to the days when my boys will all be independent and we can all play together and enjoy sports and the outdoors together, I know I will miss these days with my littles.  Just like in pregnancy, I know I will forget all the hard parts, the sleepless nights, the bedwetting, the fits, the fighting, and I will yearn for these days again.  Today I promise to try a little harder to cherish each day instead of dread the annoyances.  Today I promise to try a little harder to laugh and to play more than command and expect.  Today I promise to try a little harder to enjoy the now and not always look forward to the peace and quiet of bedtime.