Snow Day

I think that snow days are hard on most people, unless that is you brave the cold and actually get out and play in it, and then they are wonderful.  But today was not a get out and play in it kind of day and the snow did not help.  I am so tired of trudging through my mind.  I actually have had counseling and have learned the steps and tools and things to do to fight off this muck.  But, for some reason this time it is much more difficult.  I'm praying it is these damn pregnancy hormones and that they will sort themselves out quickly.

I am normally the type of person that gets stir crazy.  I don't like to just be home and do nothing, well not nothing, but only home related things.  I like to get out of the house and play outside and just go to the store just to be out.  Lately that is not the case.  I more or less have to force myself to function.  We have actually run out of milk a few times in the last couple months as well as cheese and bread and many other things that is normally just unheard of, but lately I even have to force myself to grocery shop.

Today I had two highlights.  I went upstairs pretty begrudgingly to help my five year old find his lego guys helmet.  I ended up helping my two littles clean their room and watching them play with my 17 month old as he climbed into the lego table of duplos and zoomed his airplanes back and forth.  It was a tender mercy.

Next, I finally took a shower, yep one of those days, and while I was enjoying the silence for a minute I had a few memories flood into my mind.  Memories that were sweet and loving and precious.  Memories that I needed to remember about my husband.  Memories of times that I knew absolutely of the goodness of his heart and of his love for me.  This was truly a tender mercy.  One that left me sobbing of course, but in a good way this time.

I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of me and I know that my Savior feels my pain.  I read a blog post yesterday ( http://lemmonythings.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/ )about a woman struggling so badly with the death of her father that it had shaken her to her very core.  I have felt that shake in my life and right now it seems like I am reliving it in my mind for some silly reason.  She quoted this scripture which I need to remember so many times a day in my life that you would think I had dementia,“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)  I love it.  I need it.  I can do this with his help.